How To Write (And Finish) Your Book in 5 Easy Steps

STEP ONE:
Tell everyone you know you’re going away for three months, preferably six.  When they ask where, tell them somewhere with no internet or phone signal or pets (see Step Two).

A room by the water in the Norwegian fjords should do the trick…

Or a cabin in the mountains just five minutes away.

STEP TWO:
If your cat does insist on coming with you, make sure you also take an external hard drive (you have no internet, remember) and Save Save Save. That way you won’t panic when dear Catkins dashes across your keyboard and hits the delete key. So what if your entire manuscript just vanished before your eyes? Who cares? Not Catkins. He’s calculated with at least five lives left, he’s got nothing to lose: if he can wrap presents, he can help you…

Write Your Book.

STEP THREE:
So far, so good. But a few weeks in, you sit down to write and you freeze. You stare at the screen and you hate what you read. Oh no, this isn’t happening, not now. You pace the room like a caged beast ranting to yourself. You’ve lost your mind  Call yourself a writer? You can’t write. You’re an imposter and your writing’s crap. Your mind’s a jumble of no good for nothing. Yes, that’s right…

You’re In Writer’s Block Hell.

But do not fear. All is not lost. 

Pull something from the jumble and focus.  If a gnome can live happily in a gravy boat strung with five pretty lights, you can write your book. Okay?

STEP FOUR:
If that doesn’t work, you need inspiration…

Take a walk by the sea and declutter.

You never know who you might bump into…


How about a five-piece metal band to mess with stimulate your mind?

 

STEP FIVE:

And when you’ve done all that, pop the bubbly: of the 97% of writers who start their book but never finish, you’re one of the 3% who didn’t quit. High-fives, cheers and congratulations…

You Did It!

**********************

NB: This is my entry for the Bloggers Bash Blog Post Competition 2019. The theme is any subject with the number ‘Five’.

 

About Sherri Matthews

While writing to publication of her memoir, 'Stranger in a White Dress', Sherri has been published in national magazines and a variety of anthologies in memoir, essays, articles, poetry and flash fiction. Sherri gardens, walks and takes endless photos, the better ones she shares on her blog, along with articles about travel, Asperger's Syndrome and her life as a Brit Mum raising her family in California for 17 years. Today, Sherri lives in England with her husband, Aspie youngest and their pet menagerie, fondly known as 'Animal Farm.'
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71 Responses to How To Write (And Finish) Your Book in 5 Easy Steps

  1. Marina Sofia says:

    Gorgeous pictures! I’m *sure* I could finish my book if I were in such a paradise.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Elisabeth Nelson says:

    I love this blog Sherri. You will definitely be one of the 3% that finishes your book despite a million interruptions. Your photos are lovely and list your 5 steps perfectly. Well done!! MUMBLY xx

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    Liked by 1 person

  3. TanGental says:

    and dare I ask where you are on that specific spectrum just now?! Or is that just cruel?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. purpleslob says:

    Excellent!! I’ll have my book, sans catkins, done in a jiffy! Thanks for giving me the secrets! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. If you’re not already there, I already know you’re going to be one of the 3% and you don’t need a fancy retreat to do it in 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Are we there yet, are we there yet? Is this a teaser? Wherever you are – hugs! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Gorgeous photos, Sherri. Now I’m wondering just how close you are to finishing your memoir. Hope you’re winning. Good to see you again. 😘👏🏻

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You rose to another challenge very well, Sherri. It was a fun read. Hoping you are close to the bubbly step. 🙂 Hugs, M

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Thank you so much for this! Very encouraging as I write my first… I settle for a weekend getaway once in a while but I’ve been fantasizing months at a time! Looking forward to following your journey here and I thanked Andrea for sending me your way.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Diane Box says:

    Oh my gosh Sherri you truly never cease to amaze! What a delight to read as tears of laughter stream down my face. That is just priceless and a great way to start my Monday here in America! 😊😅💕

    Liked by 1 person

  11. A great entry Sherri. Good luck in the competition.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. dgkaye says:

    Lol Sher, such a fun and clever post. You’re rockin’ it girl!!! You persevere and soldier on like a true warrior woman. You’ve got this! ❤ xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  13. You just won the contest, Sherri! Look at the last photo again… It’s a trophy!! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Norah says:

    Yay! You did it, Sherri. What a fantastic post. I hope you win. But you’re always a winner to me. Congratulations on sticking it out and seeing it through.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Pat says:

    Hang in there, Sherri. You’ve got this! Love and hugs. ❤ 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Ste J says:

    Only 3%, that makes us all seem staggeringly lazy. I loved this inspiring and enjoyable jaunt through book writing. How I crave some time and a Norwegian fjord!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I still haven’t done my post about the fjords…seems like a distant dream though ‘only’ 6 months ago…but yeah, me too, it seemed to me the perfect place in which to escape for writing inspiration and uncluttered days. And so we dream 🙂 Thank you, Ste!

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Thank you, Sherri, for this fabulous post. I just finished my editing overhaul of Through the Nethergate yesterday Whoopee! Now for the minor edits.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Dearest Sherri, this is great. You made me chuckle, plus I feel great affinity with what you are saying. I think a Norwegian fjord would do me very nicely just now. Looking forward to seeing you soon and plugging into your positivity. Lots of love, hugs and kisses xxxxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Let’s go!! I’m thrilled you found this positive and uplifting and it gave you a chuckle, dearest Sarah and yes, indeed, will be lovely to see you again very soon! Lots of love, hugs and kisses back to you! 🙂 xxxxxxxxx

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Mike M says:

    I am in awe of your craft and how brilliantly you use it.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Charli Mills says:

    Let’s escape to the fjords, Sherri! Catkins came come, too (I have an external drive and a warranty)! Your post made me laugh. I think it’s a brilliant entry! Keep at it like heavy metal!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ahh…now that would be amazing, Charli! If I had placed a bigger bet on the Grand National (I picked the winner, 2nd and fourth place, ’tis all true!) believe you me, we would be going right now and Catkins would be with us, first class all the way, naturally! Haha…I was thinking of you with the external hard drive… 😉 My prize no matter what placing is knowing it made you laugh…that’s the best…that and the idea of us rocking out to some real heavy metal in a Scandi bar drinking Viking beer somewhere in the middle of nowhere 😀 😀 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Love this Sherri. Great humorous touch which we can all relate to as writers! Lol. 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Prior... says:

    this was funny and inspiring at the same time –
    hahah
    and to this:
    gnome can live happily in a gravy boat strung with five pretty lights….
    bwahhhh

    __

    Liked by 1 person

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