How To Write (And Finish) Your Book in 5 Easy Steps

Posted on March 24, 2019 by Sherri Matthews

STEP ONE:
Tell everyone you know you’re going away for three months, preferably six.  When they ask where, tell them somewhere with no internet or phone signal or pets (see Step Two).

A room by the water in the Norwegian fjords should do the trick…

Or a cabin in the mountains just five minutes away.

STEP TWO:
If your cat does insist on coming with you, make sure you also take an external hard drive (you have no internet, remember) and Save Save Save. That way you won’t panic when dear Catkins dashes across your keyboard and hits the delete key. So what if your entire manuscript just vanished before your eyes? Who cares? Not Catkins. He’s calculated with at least five lives left, he’s got nothing to lose: if he can wrap presents, he can help you…

Write Your Book.

STEP THREE:
So far, so good. But a few weeks in, you sit down to write and you freeze. You stare at the screen and you hate what you read. Oh no, this isn’t happening, not now. You pace the room like a caged beast ranting to yourself. You’ve lost your mind  Call yourself a writer? You can’t write. You’re an imposter and your writing’s crap. Your mind’s a jumble of no good for nothing. Yes, that’s right…

You’re In Writer’s Block Hell.

But do not fear. All is not lost. 

Pull something from the jumble and focus.  If a gnome can live happily in a gravy boat strung with five pretty lights, you can write your book. Okay?

STEP FOUR:
If that doesn’t work, you need inspiration…

Take a walk by the sea and declutter.

You never know who you might bump into…


How about a five-piece metal band to mess with stimulate your mind?

 

STEP FIVE:

And when you’ve done all that, pop the bubbly: of the 97% of writers who start their book but never finish, you’re one of the 3% who didn’t quit. High-fives, cheers and congratulations…

You Did It!

**********************

NB: This is my entry for the Bloggers Bash Blog Post Competition 2019. The theme is any subject with the number ‘Five’.

 

About Sherri Matthews

Sherri is a British writer working on her second memoir while seeking publication of her first. Her work has appeared in magazines, anthologies and online as well as long/shortlisted and special mentioned in contests. Once upon a time and for twenty years, she lived in California. Today, she lives in England with her human family, owned by two black cats.
This entry was posted in Bloggers Bash Blog Post Competition and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

71 Responses to How To Write (And Finish) Your Book in 5 Easy Steps

  1. Marina Sofia says:
    March 24, 2019 at 4:50 pm

    Gorgeous pictures! I’m *sure* I could finish my book if I were in such a paradise.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. Elisabeth Nelson says:
    March 24, 2019 at 5:29 pm

    I love this blog Sherri. You will definitely be one of the 3% that finishes your book despite a million interruptions. Your photos are lovely and list your 5 steps perfectly. Well done!! MUMBLY xx

    Get Outlook for Android

    ________________________________

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. TanGental says:
    March 24, 2019 at 6:29 pm

    and dare I ask where you are on that specific spectrum just now?! Or is that just cruel?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. purpleslob says:
    March 24, 2019 at 7:53 pm

    Excellent!! I’ll have my book, sans catkins, done in a jiffy! Thanks for giving me the secrets! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  5. Andrea Stephenson says:
    March 24, 2019 at 8:30 pm

    If you’re not already there, I already know you’re going to be one of the 3% and you don’t need a fancy retreat to do it in 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  6. thecontentedcrafter says:
    March 24, 2019 at 8:40 pm

    Are we there yet, are we there yet? Is this a teaser? Wherever you are – hugs! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  7. anotherday2paradise says:
    March 25, 2019 at 2:08 am

    Gorgeous photos, Sherri. Now I’m wondering just how close you are to finishing your memoir. Hope you’re winning. Good to see you again. 😘👏🏻

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. insearchofitall says:
    March 25, 2019 at 1:28 pm

    You rose to another challenge very well, Sherri. It was a fun read. Hoping you are close to the bubbly step. 🙂 Hugs, M

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  9. Bonnie A. McKeegan says:
    March 25, 2019 at 2:35 pm

    Thank you so much for this! Very encouraging as I write my first… I settle for a weekend getaway once in a while but I’ve been fantasizing months at a time! Looking forward to following your journey here and I thanked Andrea for sending me your way.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  10. Diane Box says:
    March 25, 2019 at 2:53 pm

    Oh my gosh Sherri you truly never cease to amaze! What a delight to read as tears of laughter stream down my face. That is just priceless and a great way to start my Monday here in America! 😊😅💕

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  11. watchingthedaisies says:
    March 25, 2019 at 4:10 pm

    A great entry Sherri. Good luck in the competition.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  12. dgkaye says:
    March 26, 2019 at 3:45 am

    Lol Sher, such a fun and clever post. You’re rockin’ it girl!!! You persevere and soldier on like a true warrior woman. You’ve got this! ❤ xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  13. Miriam Hurdle says:
    March 26, 2019 at 7:13 am

    You just won the contest, Sherri! Look at the last photo again… It’s a trophy!! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  14. Norah says:
    March 26, 2019 at 12:11 pm

    Yay! You did it, Sherri. What a fantastic post. I hope you win. But you’re always a winner to me. Congratulations on sticking it out and seeing it through.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  15. Pat says:
    March 26, 2019 at 7:35 pm

    Hang in there, Sherri. You’ve got this! Love and hugs. ❤ 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  16. Ste J says:
    March 27, 2019 at 1:15 am

    Only 3%, that makes us all seem staggeringly lazy. I loved this inspiring and enjoyable jaunt through book writing. How I crave some time and a Norwegian fjord!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Sherri Matthews says:
      April 1, 2019 at 10:34 am

      I still haven’t done my post about the fjords…seems like a distant dream though ‘only’ 6 months ago…but yeah, me too, it seemed to me the perfect place in which to escape for writing inspiration and uncluttered days. And so we dream 🙂 Thank you, Ste!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  17. robbiesinspiration says:
    March 27, 2019 at 4:39 am

    Thank you, Sherri, for this fabulous post. I just finished my editing overhaul of Through the Nethergate yesterday Whoopee! Now for the minor edits.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  18. Sarah Potter Writes says:
    March 28, 2019 at 2:52 pm

    Dearest Sherri, this is great. You made me chuckle, plus I feel great affinity with what you are saying. I think a Norwegian fjord would do me very nicely just now. Looking forward to seeing you soon and plugging into your positivity. Lots of love, hugs and kisses xxxxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Sherri Matthews says:
      April 1, 2019 at 10:37 am

      Let’s go!! I’m thrilled you found this positive and uplifting and it gave you a chuckle, dearest Sarah and yes, indeed, will be lovely to see you again very soon! Lots of love, hugs and kisses back to you! 🙂 xxxxxxxxx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  19. Mike M says:
    March 31, 2019 at 11:30 am

    I am in awe of your craft and how brilliantly you use it.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  20. Charli Mills says:
    April 8, 2019 at 3:07 am

    Let’s escape to the fjords, Sherri! Catkins came come, too (I have an external drive and a warranty)! Your post made me laugh. I think it’s a brilliant entry! Keep at it like heavy metal!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    • Sherri Matthews says:
      April 8, 2019 at 11:32 am

      Ahh…now that would be amazing, Charli! If I had placed a bigger bet on the Grand National (I picked the winner, 2nd and fourth place, ’tis all true!) believe you me, we would be going right now and Catkins would be with us, first class all the way, naturally! Haha…I was thinking of you with the external hard drive… 😉 My prize no matter what placing is knowing it made you laugh…that’s the best…that and the idea of us rocking out to some real heavy metal in a Scandi bar drinking Viking beer somewhere in the middle of nowhere 😀 😀 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  21. Marje @ Kyrosmagica says:
    April 8, 2019 at 8:46 pm

    Love this Sherri. Great humorous touch which we can all relate to as writers! Lol. 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  22. Prior... says:
    April 11, 2019 at 2:22 am

    this was funny and inspiring at the same time –
    hahah
    and to this:
    gnome can live happily in a gravy boat strung with five pretty lights….
    bwahhhh

    __

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Leave a reply to robbiesinspiration Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.