A View From My Summerhouse

A Question of Copyrighted Song Lyrics – Beware!

Posted on August 29, 2013 by Sherri Matthews

Have any of you wondered what the copyright rules and regulations are for using song lyrics as part of a blog post?

I have thought about this a lot recently. Not only that, but I’ve thought about an upcoming post I’m planning and whether I should share a recipe from a recipe book which I’ve used for many years. What is and what isn’t acceptable? I just wasn’t too sure and I was feeling just a little uncomfortable about this whole issue.

In essence, do copyright rules for the printed page also apply to blogs?

What to do? Well, I took my dilemma to LinkedIn where I posed my questions on a forum of a writer’s group I’ve recently joined there. What I found out from my fellow writers was very interesting, and quite chilling. I was very thankful for all the responses and it certainly made for a lively discussion thread!

From this discussion and from my research on the internet, I came up with some answers and my first thought was, I must share this with my dear readers. Pay it forward as ‘they’ say.

However, I would just like to make my disclaimer here that I am far from an expert on this copyright issue and I am merely sharing what I have found out and providing the links for you to look up for yourselves for further reading!

Firstly, about quoting song lyrics, the good news is that there is no copyright in song titles so it is perfectly fine to quote these, and of course the artist’s name. Secondly, and here’s the bad news, quoting song lyrics (and this would also mean lines from films, TV and Radio shows as an example), even just one word never mind one line, is most definitely a no-no and you could be sued! Yikes!

Permission can be sought but even then it can be very expensive. Steven Miscandlon shared a link on the LinkedIn forum to this excellent article by Blake Morrison and you can click here to read all about his experience with song lyrics. It is an eye-opener for sure!

Regarding the recipe query, although it would be ideal that permission be sought as far as is possible, it seems that it is generally accepted practice that it would be acceptable to share it even without permission, provided that the appropriate credit is given to the source of the work and a link given as to where the book can be purchased, if it is still in print. This stands also for quoting short passages from other author’s books, providing that it is no more than say 200 – 300 words (again, things are a little blurry here rule wise). This is common practice.

So why in cases such as these would permission not be needed?

This is because they would come under the ‘fair use’ criteria. It is the same if you are doing a review and if the work being quoted is for educational and non-profit purposes. In other words, if under fair use it would be acceptable to use parts of other people’s copyrighted work within your own work, with due credit given of course.

Again, since I am no expert, I found this excellent article by Jane Friedman which really helps clarify the subject of fair use and when it is and is not necessary to gain permission. I highly recommend it as well worth reading.

The other copyright issue I discovered, falls under the umbrella of ‘the public domain’. What does this mean? Basically, in Britain and Europe, any work that was completed by an author who died over 70 years ago is considered to be in the public domain and so no longer subject to copyright and, therefore, acceptable for use. For the USA, this applies to any work completed before 1923. Generally, it is safe to quote from these works.

However, even with these guidelines, there can be exceptions and it isn’t always cut and dried!

For further information about copyright in the UK click here and for the US click here. There is also a very helpful chapter in the Writers’ and Artists’ Yearbook, which gives a great deal of information. Warning, I tried to read it and it really is quite in-depth!

Although the whole issue of copyright can be complicated, and I know that this article is far from extensive, I hope that I have made a few helpful points. When all is said and done, the best rule of thumb is if you are still really not sure about quoting from another author’s copyrighted work, then don’t! Leave it out!

Now, I don’t know about you, but I am now going to delete one or two lines from a couple of my previous blog posts. After all, I don’t want to be sued!

Posted in Blogging, Current Affairs, Uncategorized, Writing | Tagged Authors, Blake Morrison, Blog Advice, blog rules, Books, Copyright, copyright issue, Current Affairs, Fair use, fellow writers, films tv, Legal, LinkedIn, Lyrics, Public Domain, Recipes, Songs, Writer's Tips, writing | 25 Comments

The Love of Animals and Asperger’s Syndrome

Posted on August 27, 2013 by Sherri Matthews

My daughter (now 21) has always been obsessed with animals and has never known a time in her life when she hasn’t had pets. She, together with her two brothers, grew up with two Labrador dogs, an array of moggies, pet rats and is now the proud owner of a corn-snake called Charlie and a hamster called Eric. The great benefits of pet ownership for all children are well-known, but these benefits became even more significant for our daughter when she was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome at the age of 18.

Asperger’s Syndrome is an autistic spectrum disorder (‘ASD’), a ‘hidden disability’, which makes it harder for my daughter to make sense of her world, process information and interact and communicate with others, even though she is an articulate and intelligent young woman. This creates a huge amount of pressure for her when trying to fit in with her peers and relate to them, causing her to experience a high level of social anxiety and, in turn, emotional exhaustion.

Willow in a Basket
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Of course, we didn’t know any of this when she was growing up, but even then we noticed how she would turn to Willow, our gorgeous, saggy old ‘Bagpuss’ of a cat, scooping her up in her arms as she happily let my daughter cry and rub her face into her furry tummy when she was having one of her childhood ‘melt downs’.

I am not so sure that Willow would have allowed any of us to have done the same!

Being able to ‘talk’ to her pets was/is very therapeutic and calming for my daughter, helping her a great deal with her particular kind of stress. As she explains it, she relates better to her pets than to other people because she can sense their needs and understand them and she doesn’t feel the pressure or stress of human relationships.

The love she has for her pets, particularly her cats, and the love she receives back from them has been a steadying force of peace and security in her sometimes chaotic ‘Aspie’ way of life. They provide comfort, love and interaction without the expectation for her to say and do the right things. Nothing is expected of her, there is no pressure to ‘fit in’, she isn’t being judged, she can be herself, and relate to them in love, by cuddling and showing emotion, where otherwise this can be difficult for Aspies.

Professor Tony Attwood, a psychologist and one of the world’s leading experts on ASD has written extensively about Asperger’s Syndrome. In his forward for Liane Holliday Willey’s book ‘Safety Skills for Asperger Women: How to save a Pefectly Good Female Life’, he describes the many challenges specific to girls and women with Asperger’s, in particular their need to ‘escape’ and makes this telling observation:

“Another escape is into the exciting world of nature, having an intuitive understanding of animals, not people. Animals become loyal friends, eager to see and be with you, with her feeling safe from being teased or rejected and appreciated by her animal friends.”

Young Chick! (c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Two Young Chicks!
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

There seems to be a unique chemistry between people on the autistic spectrum and animals. Certainly, I witnessed this many times with my daughter. We raised chickens once and we were amazed at how she would let day old chicks sit on her shoulder as she hand-fed them, then watch as they would fall asleep right there nestled up to her neck, feeling perfectly safe.

This chemistry, together with the calming effect that a dog brings to an autistic child when anxious or distressed, has been observed by PAWS (Parents Autism Workshops and Support), an innovative charity set up by Dogs for the Disabled and based in Banbury, Oxfordshire. PAWS has developed the training of assistance dogs to work effectively with both children with autism and their parents and carers. They do also recognise that a well-trained pet dog can be just as beneficial.

The well-known American Temple Grandin is an autistic woman who was incorrectly diagnosed as brain-damaged and developmentally disabled as a very young child and as such, faced many difficult challenges growing up. However, she went on to become a professor at Colorado State University and is now a leading animal behaviour expert and consultant to the livestock industry (source credit: Wikipedia).

As a truly inspirational autistic activist and best-selling author, she tells of her love for horses and how a completely unexpected turning point in her life changed everything for her; while looking after horses at her sister-in-law’s ranch, she began to thrive. She then discovered that she had a special bond with the cattle also at the ranch, in whose company she felt more peaceful than with people.*

The extremely important value of animals and pets in the lives of those on the autistic spectrum cannot be denied. Finally, and to end on a light-hearted note, in talking to my daughter as research for the purposes of this article, she came up with several similarities between her ‘Aspieness’ and our cats, which I share here:

1. Cats are nocturnal. So is my daughter.

2. Cats like to be touched but only on their terms, otherwise don’t you dare. Just like my daughter.

3. Cats are very picky about their food. Hmmmmm……just like my daughter.

4. Cats have major sensory issues – too loud, too hot, too cold, too many people. Same with my daughter.

5. Cats detest changes to their routine, it actually makes them ill and retreat. My daughter has to do things her way and in her time. She can retreat into her room, in the dark, for days on end.

My ‘Little Asp’ with our moggie Eddie 2009
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

6. Cats will only come to you if they trust you and feel safe with you, then they will show their cuddly, purry love in the most wonderful way. Otherwise it’s the cold shoulder.

My daughter is honest to the point of bluntness which can seem rude to others but this is a common Asperger trait. There is no side to her and she shows her love in her own wonderful way.

So then, my daughter continues to be obsessed with animals and in her ideal Aspie world she thinks it would be wonderful if she could also have, in no particular order:

A Rottweiler, a racoon, a crow and a Peach-Faced Lovebird.

Safe to say she will have a long wait but her cats are always close to hand should she need a lovely soft, purry cuddle.

Overweight Ducks and The Beautiful Norfolk Broads

Posted on August 23, 2013 by Sherri Matthews

It’s a funny old world that we live in. Bombarded as we are about the merits of eating healthily and maintaining a healthy weight, yada yada yada, I could not believe my eyes when I read an article recently in The Daily Mail about ducks getting too fat! Yes, you read that right. Visitors to Ferry Meadows in Peterborough, UK, have been banned from feeding the ducks white bread as wardens there have noticed that they, (along with the park’s geese and swans too, apparently,) are getting too fat!

This got me thinking that perhaps ducks are changing in other ways too. Way back in June my family went on a lovely boating holiday on The Norfolk Broads. We have a bit of history with the Broads (see below!) but this time we couldn’t help but notice how brazen the ducks have become! We were often joined by one, two, several ducks flying right up on our boat, looking in at our widows as if to say, “Well, where’s my bread then?”. It seems that they have learnt to adapt very nicely, thank you, to the holiday trade.

“Where’s My Bread then?”
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

“Hurry Up Mrs!”
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

“Maybe if I just hide here they won’t notice me”
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

“Anyone?”
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

“We’re Still Here!”
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Believe me, these ducks ate plenty of white bread and they didn’t look too fat to me!

Ahh, The Norfolk Broads – even the name evokes powerful, heart-warming memories for me. This is because every year when I was a young girl this is where my family took our annual family holidays. What made it even more exciting was that we would have one yacht for us and another for my grandparents, they making the trek from ‘up north’ and us from ‘down south’. We would meet in Horning, a delightful riverside village, at the boatyard.

I loved it when the waters were calm and still and we would pootle lazily along the meandering rivers, but I also remember being quite frightened when we would be sailing in strong winds across a broad, particularly Barton Broad. The yacht would heel over, the dark, grey waters lapping right up to the gunwale. I can hear now the cracking sound as the wind would whip sharply into the mainsail and someone yelling out, “Going About!” as we all had to crouch down and quickly move across to the other side of the well as the heavy boom would swing sharply just above our heads.

It was after a day’s sailing when we were safely moored up against a peaceful riverbank that I would feel the happiest. As an evening mist would begin to wrap itself all around us, we would put up the awning for the night. After supper, my brother and I would be tucked up into our cosy bunks in the forepeak where we would tell stories and laugh and make up silly games, finally falling asleep as our cheeks glowed from the Norfolk air, lulled as we were by the gentle lap, lap, lap of the water against the bow.

A Yacht with its awning (c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

A Yacht with its awning
Norfolk Broads
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

In the mornings, the first thing I would do was to pull open the tiny curtains covering the round port holes in our cabin and look out at the river only inches away, and I would be mesmerized by the early dancing light on the water.

It was my grandfather who started this family tradition in the 1930s when my mother was very young. He, my grandmother, Mum and my uncle took their annual holidays on the Broads but of course, as Mum tells it, things were very different then. There were very few motor boats, mostly yachts, and there were no frills.

Mum has memories of my granny having to get on her knees in the well of the boat to light the calor gas stove just to boil the kettle for a morning cup of tea. She also remembers mooring up to river banks and walking along fields and pathways to find the local farm to buy fresh milk for their breakfast! Health and safety today wouldn’t dare allow such a thing now, I’m sure!

Happy Norfolk Broads Memories!
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

This is one of my favourite photos from my childhood, I love the pure enjoyment in our smiles! This is me (in the middle) with my lovely little ‘bruv’ in front and my Granny behind. Notice our old style yacht, still with the front awning up, and notice the jumpers and coats – it is summer! 1960s

My brother and I were mere babes when we had our first Broads holiday. My brother learned to walk on a yacht as he could hold onto each side of the galley it being so narrow and so an ideal first-steps aid! I had a near miss once, so the story goes. Mum was bathing me in the galley sink (I was maybe one year old) when all of a sudden the bowsprit of a passing-by yacht which had obviously run into some trouble (this is not at all uncommon on boating holidays!) came crashing through the side of our boat, narrowly missing my back by inches. There by the grace of God…

Careful on Board!
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Another family favourite. Dear Granny, ever vigilant, holding on to me for dear life as I look out into the early morning sunshine.

Granny &Dandy Norfolk Broads (c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Granny & Dandy, Brother & Me
Norfolk Broads
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

All aboard! Yet another favourite, my brother, in front of me, with my Granny and Dandy as we called him. Mum and Dad are in the other yacht taking the photos! 1960s

Some 15 years ago, we all (Mum, my family and my brother’s) took a holiday on the Broads together and we reminisce about it to this day with great joy. Going back this June after so long, we did notice some changes.

For one thing, where did all the ‘gin palaces’ come from I would like to ask? Now, if I was ever invited to go out for the day on a ‘gin palace’ to the French Riviera and pootle on down to, oh I don’t know, let’s say, Cannes, or possibly Monaco, do you think I would turn it down? No, of course not.

But on the Norfolk Broads? I don’t think so. It just seems, well, so obscene!

Just as a very quick explanation, the Norfolk Broads are an expanse of navigable rivers and lakes (‘broads’) that were once thought to be part of the natural landscape. It wasn’t until the 1960s that Dr Joyce Lambert discovered that they were in fact flooded medieval peat excavations. (credit: Wikipedia)

As early as 1878, sail boats could be hired from John Loynes and Harry Blake but in recent decades the number of people sailing has declined considerably. Even in the 15 years since we were last there, we noticed this time that there very few people sailing, chosing to motor boat instead. Indeed, that’s what we did!

Unfortunately, the huge popularity of motor boating holidays on the Broads caused serious problems with water pollution which in turn had an adverse effect on wildlife and plant life. All is not lost, however. Thanks to the efforts of the Broads Authority, since the 1970s the Broads Restoration project has been underway.

This has involved the removal of fish (biomanipulation) to allow water fleas to graze the algae to clear the water. Decades later, we certainly saw great evidence of this by the vast amounts of beautiful lily pads floating gracefully on the now clean waters, something we had not seen before. They only grow in clean water, so this is great news indeed.

Lily Pads of the Norfolk Broads
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

The Norfolk Wildlife Trust is also undertaking constant conservation work to protect the wildlife and wild spaces of the Norfolk Broads and this is evidenced by the truly spectacular wildlife and nature reserves now found there.

One delightful animal we certainly had never seen before on our Broads holidays were otters. This is because by the 1970s entire river systems no longer supported them, mostly due to pollution. Now, however, thanks to an extensive conservation effort banning pesticides, providing otters legal protection and a significant improvement in water quality, otters have returned to their previous haunts on the Norfolk Broads. No photos unfortunately, but I did take one of a sketch of one at a nature reserve!

Sketch of an Otter taken at a Nature Reserve
Norfolk Broads
(c) Sherri Matthews 2013

This, then, is the post which I had intended to write and share with you many weeks ago, but was unable to. I just wanted to share a piece of my heart with you, a place which means so very much to me.

A place where even the ducks have changed but what the Norfolk Broads means to me has never changed, and it never will.

A Sunset Evening at Salhouse
Norfolk Broads
(c)copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

My dear mum shared this delightful saying with me, although I am not sure where it came from, but I leave it here with you now:

“The Norfolk Broads are a breathing space for the cure of souls.”

‘Obese’ ducks put on no-bread diet (bbc.co.uk)

Posted in Childhood Memories, Family Life, Nature & Wildlife, Norfolk Broads | Tagged Childhood memories, Ducks, Family Life, Holidays, Lily Pads, Nature Conservation, Norfolk Broads, Otters, Sailing, The Norfolk Broads Wildlife Trust, Vacations | 16 Comments

Thank You – You Are My Sunshine!

Posted on August 21, 2013 by Sherri Matthews

Amazing 'Gangnam Style' Birthday Cake! (c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Amazing ‘Gangnam Style’ Birthday Cake!
Made by my son’s girlfriend!
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

So here we are, all the birthday celebrations for my daughter’s 21st have been and gone but what a wonderful time it was! My heart is full of the joy and love which comes from sharing this special time with my family and having all my little chicks back together again in the nest!

Early last Friday morning, in the still of first light, I quickly tapped away at my laptop’s keyboard wanting simply to write a little something in celebration of my daughter’s special day, yet as I did so a wealth of emotion spilled out into my words; the joy in all the memories of my sweet little girl, now a beautiful young woman, but also the pain of her struggles living with Asperger’s Syndrome.

I was glad to have been able to write my simple ‘song’ to her.

Some of you know that it has been one helluva roller-coaster ride, some good days, quite a few bad days and one or two pretty horrific days. It is probably no coincidence, then, that one of our birthday activities was to spend a day at Thorpe Park!

Roller Coaster? Think the ‘SAW’ ride and you get the picture…

Thrills & Spills on SAW Ride
Thorpe Park
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

However, deep breath, I did not expect the incredible response that I received! The very moving comments left by so many of you as you shared your own sentiments about my poem and your incredibly kind birthday wishes for my daughter deeply touched me, all your precious words, pouring forth as they did from your own beautiful hearts.

You have all blessed me, and my daughter, indeed my family, so very much. A simple ‘Thank You’ seems very inadequate.

Therefore, I want to give you all a gift along with my heartfelt ‘Thank You’, which brings me nicely to the next part of this post! I have been awarded, so very kindly once again, by my lovely girl Maria over at Lost In The Labyrinth for The Sunshine Award. Thank you so much Maria for thinking of me and sending your extra-special brand of sunshine my way, it means a great deal to me!

I hope you don’t mind, however, that I’m going to bend the rules just a bit!

This, then, is my gift…I want to send you all a little bit of sunshine and press this very pretty flower into your ‘cyber’ hands. This Sunshine Award, I present to each and every one of you to display proudly on your blog. Go ahead, it’s yours, you deserve it!

Just know that I send it to you with a very grateful heart.

Sunshine Award

Last, but certainly not least, to my lovely husband, my darling boys and girlfriends, all my family and close friends (and of course my darling daughter!) who support me and follow my blog quietly from ‘behind the scenes’ and who never fail to encourage me greatly by sending lovely messages in emails, on Facebook or in texts and phone calls. You have always been behind me 100%.

This Sunshine Award is for you too, because, quite simply, you are my sunshine, my only sunshine…I thank you and I love you 🙂

Posted in Awards, Family Life, Family Traditions, Friendship, Mothers & Daughters | Tagged Asperger syndrome, Awards, Cake, emotions, Family Life, Friends, Gangnam Style, happiness, joy, love, Roller coaster, Sentiments, thank you, The Sunshine Award, Thorpe Park | 10 Comments

Girl With The Summertime Smile

Posted on August 16, 2013 by Sherri Matthews

Girl with the Summertime Smile

You came to me, wrapped up in love, on a too-hot summer’s day

As you took in every life-drop falling from the sky,

Then seeking quiet refuge in the still of your shut-tight eyes.

Newborn Baby Daughter
16 August 1992
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews

Oh Summer girl of mine, with your sunflower-smile

and your cotton-dress skip;

Making beds for caterpillars and tiny pools for frogs,

Singing to the moon on a twinkle-star night,

Legs dangling from your swing as we laughed and held on tight!

Happy Daughter
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Oh did that light from heaven get lost in the dark heart?

A memory of a safe, strong day

Brings a strong-comfort hope, not just for then but now.

Fight I will, this will not, ever, tear us apart.

Rockstar Daughter
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Sweet woman-girl you are

As I offer you my hand should you take it, oh there you are!

It is always as it should be

In the near…in the chaos…in the far.

My daughter at Sea World (c) copyright Sherri Matthews

What thoughts?
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

You are my daughter, you see, so here we are, you and me.

Swing free under that night-sky, sing your song of let-me-be

And I will ease your sorrow, light a way along your path.

So you keep your hope alive, and I will journey with you for awhile,

As you are here today, your day, and I remember

My little girl with the summer-time smile.

My Daughter with Cat Cake
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Wishing you, my darling daugther, a very Happy 21 st Birthday!!!!!!!

With all my love, Mum xxx

Posted in Asperger's Syndrome, Childhood Memories, Family Life, Family Traditions, Mothers & Daughters, Photos, Poems | Tagged Asperger's Syndrome, Birthday, Childhood memories, daughter, Family Life, hope, joy, laughter, Moon, mother, night sky, Poem, sadness, stars, Summertime, Sunflowers | 35 Comments

A Flurry of Awards and the The Versatile Blogger Award Goes To…

Posted on August 15, 2013 by Sherri Matthews

Thanks to a recent flurry of award nominations sent my way and at last catching up, I am now delighted to announce my nomination for The Versatile Blogger Award by beautiful Maria over at Lost in the Labyrinth.

Thank you, Maria, my lovely, for nominating me with this award, but mostly for being a true friend to me, residing as we both do in ‘Aspie’ land, albeit from completely different perspectives. For helping me, as a mum of an Aspie daughter, to better understand how I can be a better mum to her. You are amazing 🙂

Maria, like my daughter and only a couple of year’s older, was recently diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome and she has greatly encouraged me with her incredibly insightful comments on my posts about this subject. Maria’s creative, inspiring and very ‘real’ blog shares her journey in life through her poetry, prose and photographs and her writing talent cannot be underestimated. Do visit her blog and tell her ‘Hi’ from me!

Right, now onto the Award and to make things a little easier, here is the site link which explains the rules in full: http://versatilebloggeraward.wordpress.com/

Firstly, here are my 7 facts about myself, in no particular order:

I would like to say thank you to my wonderful husband for his amazing support in everything
Shopping? Despise it, whether for clothes, shoes, food, you name it…
Which leads me to…I return nearly every item of clothing that I buy
Love spending time with a good friend
Wish I could travel more…
Dread office parties (no more of them, yay!) but I do love a good, ‘proper’ party!
Would love to raise chickens again oneday

Well, those came to me in a flash!

Now, this is the part where I nominate 15 well-deserving bloggers. After thinking long and hard about this, I decided to nominate a mixture of blogs that are newish or brand new to me, and/or bloggers who haven’t as yet received this award (so far as I can tell!)

So, here then are my 15 nominees:

Many congratulations to you all. Have a lovely day 🙂

Posted in Asperger's Syndrome, Awards | Tagged Asperger syndrome, Awards, Blog, Versatile Blogger Award | 15 Comments

Knighting People – A Bouquet of 3 Awards!

Posted on August 13, 2013 by Sherri Matthews

I’ve been knighted! With a bouquet of 3 awards! Hooray!

sunshine-blog-award

What a lovely surprise! Thank you lovely Lydia for thinking of me! Do visit her blog, My Feather Quill,where she writes about, as she puts it, Life, Literature, Loves and, well, Lydia! I enjoy reading her posts so much, she makes me smile and she is a sweetie 🙂

As always, there are rules to receiving these awards, which are as follows:

1. As the recipient of the award you have to share 7 things about yourself with the blogosphere (see below).

2. Link back to the post of the person who nominated you (as above).

3. Copy and Paste the Award logos into your new post (done)

2. To pass on the award you then nominate 15 bloggers (This bit is sort of like knighting someone and really sorry for breaking the rules, again, but I have only done 10 due to time constraints!)

3. You should let all the lovely bloggers know that they have been nominated so they can claim their virtual reward (about to!)

Before I get to the exciting part of announcing my nominations for this award and letting you all know, here are 7 things about me:

I hope and pray for happy and healthy lives for each of my three children
Which leads me to…and shhhh, I’ll whisper this so that my children don’t hear…I can’t wait for grandchildren 🙂
I dream of having my first book published (don’t we all!)
I hate going to the dentist (who doesn’t?)
Can’t wait to visit Crete again with my husband, whenever that may be…
I am obsessed about going to see the Puffins in Pembrokeshire
So glad that I started this blog 🙂

My nominees are mostly new blogs I have just discovered together with one or two favourites which I follow. Don’t forget there is absolutely no obligation to pass the award on you are more than welcome just to enjoy your knighthood and know that I think you are all awesome 🙂

Congratulations everyone, and I hope that this brings a smile to your day as I go now to give you all the good news 🙂

Posted in Awards | Tagged A Bouquet of 3 Awards, Awards, Knighting | 14 Comments

Sherri’s Five Top Tips for Home and Garden

Posted on August 12, 2013 by Sherri Matthews

Good Monday morning to you all, although I have just looked at the clock and realised that it is in fact already afternoon.

Funny that, as I feel a post brewing inside me about the pros and cons of all things ‘social media’, one of the cons being that it takes up too much time and I have certainly spent far too much time on it this morning.

I have read some really interesting forums all about the subject of social media, specifically when it comes to getting your writing ‘out there’, to self-publish or not, how much or how little is good or bad or….well, this post is not about that and will be for anther time, and look, I’ve wasted yet more valuable time just writing this..

Maisy in a Pot (c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

I know this photo has absolutely nothing to do with this post and I am cheating throughout but I just thought you might like to see my sweet tabby Maisy resting in a plant pot. Better than a photo of a slug, right? (see below for meaning)

This post, then, is short and sweet, as they will be all this week (was that a resounding ‘thank the Lord for that!’ I just heard from the ranks?) as, to be brutally frank, I just can’t get my head around a ‘proper’ post today.

For one thing, I have a couple more ‘award’ posts to complete (lovely kind people!) and my daughter is celebrating her 21st birthday on Friday. With my family due to visit and being very behind with so many things, I have decided instead that this might be a perfect time to share some of my ‘tried and true’ handy-dandy home and garden tips I’ve picked up over the years, which I hope you will find most helpful.

Here goes:

A great way to make really creamy scrambled eggs is not to use any milk (just some melted butter and chives if you like them) when cooking them, and just as they barely start to ‘scramble’ add a dollop of crème fraîche. Yummy and it really works!
If you want to attract slugs (in an effort to draw them out and dispose of them, not for the pleasure of it) then leave a bowl of cat food (meat) outside. Guaranteed they will come, they love it!
Grow lavender near your roses, they help keep aphids away. I will squeeze in another tip with this one…don’t buy tubes of ladybirds, they are a waste of money (not that I’m bitter or anything).
Don’t yell at the constantly barking dog next door. It isn’t the poor dog’s fault if it’s left alone all day long and it will just make the dog bark even more. Trust me, I’ve tried it. Wonder if my neighbours read my blog?
When you change your cat’s litter box, always wait nearby with your handy-dandy pooper scooper in hand, as your cat will immediately walk over to the lovely fresh litter and crap in it.

Ok, so the first three tips are genuine and really work, so I’ve discovered. As for the other two, well, they will give you an idea of the kind of morning I’m having so far.

Monday, Monday – Song by the Mamas & The Papas 1966

Posted in Garden Snippets, Great Ideas, Humour, Uncategorized | Tagged Cat, Cat Food, cat photo, Dogs, Gardening Tips, Household Tips, Humour, Lavendar, Litter box, Neighbours, Roses, Scrambled Egg, Slugs, Social media, Time Wasting | 17 Comments

My Dad, The Great Train Robbery and A Game of Cricket

Posted on August 9, 2013 by Sherri Matthews

Today is my dad’s 81st birthday. Not so unusual these days (what is 80 now anyway, the new 40?) except in this case my dad is a raging alcoholic who has spent the best part of the last 35 years of his life in prison. No small miracle, then, that he gets to celebrate this day.

My dear dad, he could have done so much with his life. Once upon a time, we were a happy little family, he, my mum and my brother. Well, my mum may not have been so happy, especially when Dad started drinking more heavily and more often as the years went by . It all got too much and when I was 10 years old, she left him.

Happy Family 1961
Me on Dad’s lap, Mum & Brother
(c) Sherri Matthews 2013

After that, Dad’s drinking took over, which led him down a path of whiskey-addled crime – i.e. holding up banks pretending he had a weapon (he never did) to make sure that he could return to the only home he had left – prison.

My dad has been inside more prisons that I’ve had hot dinners – and at least he gets plenty of those inside unlike when he was homeless, prowling (or staggering along more like) the streets, unkempt, talking to himself and lost in a haze of alcoholic oblivion, seen by many but ignored by all.

My brother and I once joked with him that he should write a book and call it ‘The Good Prison Guide’. He could rate it according to the food, the accommodation, how comfortable the bed is, the surroundings etc. Well, you have to keep your sense of humour don’t you?

Perhaps it is no coincidence that Dad’s birthday this year falls one day after the 50th anniversary of The Great Train Robbery. August 8, 1963. My dad is the same age as most of the men who took part in that robbery, his ‘peers’ if you like. I think he would have secretly liked to have been one of them truth be told. Dad never did conform to the ‘rules’.

Back in the 90s, Dad was doing a stint at Ford Open Prison in West Sussex and I visited him there. We sat and chatted over a cup of tea, as you do, and I always remember him suddenly lowering his voice (he is softly spoken at the best of times, so I had to really lean in to hear) as he told me to look just over his shoulder at the table behind us. He told me that one of the men sitting there was one of the Great Train Robbers. I don’t know who it was but Dad was proud to be in the same room as him, telling me what a good and decent man he was.

Something Dad told me during our telephone conversation last Sunday shed light on an aspect of his character. It’s always so interesting what you can glean from a conversation if you really listen.

He was looking forward to watching the cricket that night and he went on to tell me that he had once played for a Surrey cricket team. He had a bit of a reputation for being a good bowler, as he tells the story, but he was getting frustrated that they wouldn’t let him bowl. So one day he asked if could bowl but he was told that he would have to wait.

Well, Dad couldn’t wait so he told to them to stuff it and he walked away. I detected a tinge of regret in his voice as he told me this, mixed in with a little bit of the old ‘que sera sera’

Life never could hold my dad, or he couldn’t hold life, which ever way you look at it.

Remember those wooden cricket sets for children? When we were growing up I can remember Dad taking us outside and trying to teach us how to play. Come to think of it, he always bowled, that really was his forte. I remember him showing me the shiny, red ball and how to hold it and trying to teach me to do the same but I don’t think I was very good.

It is with a sigh that I write this post. I think of my dad, the man he was and could have been.

In the 50s he won salesman of the year while working for Austin Reed in London and won a trip on the Queen Mary to New York. Dad was a boxer once and was thrilled, while on his trip to New York, to have met (in a bar, of course!) and chatted to Sugar Ray Robinson.

Dad always looked so dapper in his Trilby hats and overcoats, the silver cigarette case placed neatly inside the breast pocket – think Don Draper in Mad Men. He also met Elizabeth Taylor once and I always remember him telling me that she ‘looked great from the waist up’! He also met – shhhh, don’t tell – Joan Collins at a party and ‘had a little smooch’ with her. Bet she will be thrilled to hear that!

Funny how my dad seemed to live on the fringe of this almost celebrity kind of lifestyle, how he was the epitome of the 60s culture. I also find it all strangely ironic, thinking back to the Great Train Robbery of 1963 that my dad is in a lot better condition now than poor old Ronnie Biggs .

Most recent photo of me and my dad taken in 2006 during a day out from his halfway house. No photos allowed in prison! (c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Most recent photo of me and my dad taken in 2006 during a day out when he was staying at a halfway house in-between prison terms.
No photos allowed in prison!
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

So here we are, back to today, my dad’s 81st birthday. My dilemma is always the same, every Father’s Day and his birthday – what kind of card can I send him? Have you ever tried looking for a card to send your dad who just happens to be an alcoholic prisoner? It’s not easy, I can assure you.

For instance, this is what you usually find on a typical ‘Dad’ card:

A bottle of wine and a wine glass
A shiny sports car
A set of golf clubs
A drunk man holding a pint of beer, frothing over the glass
A garden shed
A football
A fishing rod
A boat or yacht
A fat, smiling man, wearing slippers, lounging on a recliner

Then, even if the illustration on the front is fairly innocuous, there is the message inside to contend with:

It’s your birthday Dad, relax and put your feet up!
Happy Birthday Dad! Have a pint on me
Enjoy the party Dad, it’s your special day!
Thanks for being a great Dad, for always being there for me, have a great day!

You can see my dilemma. For starters, all alcohol related cards are obviously out of the question. So far as sports cars, well, he had a few in his time. I remember a beautiful red Jaguar, with leather seats, and a British Racing Green MG Sports Car. I remember once we (his new wife, brother and me, and our massive German Shepherd called Bilbo Baggins) all crammed into it for a day trip to Chessington Zoo but he later went on to crash it, like all the rest.

He has never golfed, and although he used to love to fish, has sailed a few times, played football and may even have been spotted pottering about in a garden shed once or twice, reminders of these are just too redundant now.

Perhaps I should start my own range of ‘Jailbird Dad’ cards. It could have a picture on the front of a man in his prison gear sewing up mail bags or working in the laundry room and you could pop a ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ Monopoly card inside just for the laughs. Ahh, I jest, of course.

What kind of card then, dear old Dad, should I send you? Well, I hope you like the one I decided on. It is quite simple really. On the front is a cartoon of a big, cuddly and yes, smiling, bear holding out a pot of honey in its big hairy paw.

The message inside simply reads, ‘ Happy Birthday Daddy, I love you’.

Now what could be more perfect than that?

Frail Ronnie Biggs, 84, marks anniversary of Great Train Robbery at memorial service for mastermind Bruce Reynolds (dailymail.co.uk)
In pictures: 50th anniversary of the Great Train robbery (dailyrecord.co.uk)
VIDEO: Great Train Robbery 50 years on (bbc.co.uk)

Posted in Alcoholism, Childhood Memories, Current Affairs, Family Life, My Dad's Alcoholic Prison | Tagged Alcoholism, Childhood memories, Cricket, crime, daughters, Family Life, fathers, Great Train Robbery, Homeless, Jaguar, love, MG Sports Car, prison, Ronnie Biggs, Sports Cars | 38 Comments

Inner Peace Award

Posted on August 7, 2013 by Sherri Matthews

Some weeks ago, I was delighted and very encouraged when I received the Inner Peace Award from Jane Dougherty. Jane doesn’t usually ‘do’ awards but when she received this award from one of her followers she broke her self-imposed rule and passed it on to those she wanted to thank. Lucky for me then!

As a follower of Jane’s blog, I am drawn to all aspects of her wonderfully creative writing and so I was really honoured to think that she considered me worthy of this award. She must have known that I needed a healthy dose of ‘Inner Peace’ when she gave it to me as I was going through a difficult time. That, and she also paid me a really nice compliment by saying that I had a blog worth reading. Thank you so much Jane!

The other lovely thing about this award is that there aren’t any rules (yay!!) and it doesn’t need any work (other than displaying it proudly on your blog of course, after all, you earned it, you deserve it, so go on!) and you don’t have to worry if you haven’t the time to pass it on – we are all short of that commodity!

However, I have really wanted to share this award with you for some time and that time is now! After all, who couldn’t use some ‘inner peace’ sometimes (all the time?)!

Take it as my way of saying a very special ‘Thank You’ – for sticking with me when I was in a dark place, for taking the time to visit and read my blog and for your great comments and insight. For supporting and encouraging me, for making me smile. For being kind and thoughtful.

I just wish I could make this list longer than it already is, but then I would never stop as I do appreciate each and every one of you…

So then, here is my list of nominees, a mixture of ‘old’ and ‘new’, regardless, I consider you all as friends.

1. moggiepurrs

2. CharactersfromtheKitchen

3. steverebus

4. My Feather Quill

5. lostinthelabyrinth

6. Expatially Mexico

7. That’s a Jenn Story

8. Alzheimer’s Trail

9. Travel Words

10. Jardin Luxembourg