Let us Remember these Men at the Eleventh Hour

Today, at the 11th hour of this 11th day of this 11th month,  the time the guns fell silent along the Western front in 1918 and an armistice was declared,  the anniversary of the World War One armistice 95 years ago is to be marked in Britain with a two-minute silence.  Britons everywhere will bow their heads to remember all those who served and died for our country.

Armistice Day, Remembrance Day, Veterans Day. We will all remember our fallen today.

While in my family neither of my grandfathers went to war, I will remember one of my granddads who, desperate to fight for King and country could not, because of his work with industrial x-ray: his war effort was better needed at home.

Instead he served in the Home Guard (nicknamed fondly here in Britain as ‘Dad’s Army‘). He also built a bomb shelter at the bottom of his garden to which all the family (my mum and uncle as children) and neighbours would retreat when bombs dropped all around them.

The men in my husband’s family, however, did go to war.  Here, in my husband’s words, is his account of these men at war:

Granddad was off to war in 1914, one of probably 15 or 20 young men from the small market town of Sturminster Newton in Dorset.

Never before travelling further than the West Country, he was in the fields of France for three long years. Then came a brush with immortality in a foreign field, but the mustard gas sent him home, invalided, in 1917.

I was far too young to understand all this.  I knew Granddad as an old man in the late 1960’s but later on, through watching the iconic ‘Dad’s Army’ of a Saturday night on the old black and white television, I came to learn that he was in the LDV (Home Guard) and was drilling, patrolling and doing his bit.  Evening drill followed by a pint of bitter in the local River’s Arms.

Got his certificate from King George to thank him.

The Home Guard Certificate for Walter Ridout

Dad was a Londoner from Greenwich, in the rough, gas-lit and dirty 1930’s streets so removed now from the £750K town houses and Audis…the story goes in my family that being sent into the army was his instruction, rather than having him inevitably end up on the wrong side of the law.

He was a Desert Rat (8th Army), at El Alamein as a Tank Sergeant fighting Rommel’s lot.  He never spoke much about the war, but he once gave me an Afrika Corps pin and was in his way grudgingly respectful of the Germans.

Dad though survived and fought through Italy and finishing the war in Germany.  He stayed in the army till 1948. His brother Stan was lost on HMS Hood.  Said the nightmares never went away though – even in 1994, his last year on earth.’

This, then, is my husband’s account of three men in his family who ‘did their bit’ for their country.     His grandfather, Walter Ridout and father, Albert ‘Burt’ Edward Matthews, made it home but suffered the ill-effects of their private wars to the end of their days.

His Uncle Stan  never made it home and his war remains buried deep below the heavy waters off the coast of Greenland where the Hood was brought down by the German battleship Bismarck  on 24th May 1941.

As seems to be so often the case with those of us from mine and my husband’s generation, we only seem to know clouded versions of stories concerning some of our relatives and in asking my husband more details about his Uncle Stan he was unable to give me much.

This led me on a path of discovery and it didn’t take me long during my research to find Uncle Stan listed in the  HMS Hood Rolls of Honour – Memorials to Men Lost in the sinking of Hood, 24th May 1941.

I discovered the tragic news that when Uncle Stan was serving on HMS Hood, his father (my husband’s other grandfather) passed away and he was very concerned for his mother’s health.  Sadly, Uncle Stan was unable to come home and tragedy struck when the Hood was attacked and he was killed at the age of 22.

At the eleventh hour today then, my husband will bow his head in silence when the call is sent out to remember the fallen.   He, as shall I along with countless others, thank these men and all others for their service to our country;

For their stoicism, for their bravery, for their call to duty and their great sacrifice and for never wavering even as they surely faced a fear so deep that most of us will never even begin to understand.

He will pause to reflect upon his Uncle Stan, whose life was cut so tragically short and whose last thoughts were for concern for his newly widowed mother whom he was never able to return home to and comfort.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

(From the poem The Fallen, Laurence Binyhn 1869-1943)

In honour of Stanley George Matthews

Posted in Current Affairs, Family Memoirs, HIstory | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 38 Comments

Of Aspie Daughter, the Job Centre and a Dead Car (and one Spider photo)

Life is so interesting isn’t it?  Since my rather dark post and poem of yesterday I’ve been enjoying some very in-depth conversations with some of you, particularly about my dad and his alcoholism.   I’ve been blown away by your responses, particularly to my poem, thank you so much, and I’m so happy now that I did go ahead and post it and that I don’t have to be cross with Hubby for making me do it.

Always a good thing, however,  to have a disclaimer, or two…

I hope you don’t think I’m trying to cram more, more, more of my writing down your throats, but if any of you would like to read more about my dad and his rather unusual lifestyle, you can find a few more of my stories under the category ‘My Dad’s Alcoholic Prison’.

Right, well enough of that.  It’s Friday, and I thought I would leave you with a lighter post for the weekend, and also I wanted to tell you about an incident that happened earlier today.

It begins with me taking my Aspie Daughter to the Job Centre .  Oh joy of joys.  This is always so incredibly stressful for her.  I end up doing all the talking because she gets completely overloaded with the lights, noise and having to sit in a chair being asked questions about how she is doing, so much so that she becomes mentally exhausted. Thankfully, her advisor is very nice and understanding so that helps.

These sessions are mandatory but of course my daughter is nowhere near ready to even think about work.   The last two years have been an absolute nightmare quite tough trying to get her the proper help and support  but once I fired we asked nicely for a different care coordinator (social worker) and completed her occupational therapy assessments, we were then able to have her referred to the Asperger psychologist.

He talks to her and treats her like an adult who has a brain and isn’t an imbecile or thick so this helps too.

So, back to the Job Centre.  To park in the car park opposite means driving up a very steep hill.  The car I drive has a strange habit of ‘chugging’ when the petrol gauge is just below a quarter of a tank.  This was the case today and as I drove up this hill the engine almost cut out.  It graciously waited until I was just turning into a parking bay instead, at a very awkward angle, before doing so.

So there we were, Aspie Daughter and I.  Stuck in a dead car, 5 minutes away from her appointment and rain pouring down outside.  We get fined here if we don’t park within the lines and I couldn’t just leave the car like that.  What to do?

I called Hubby. He was not happy as he was in an important meeting.   He was a bit annoyed because I didn’t have enough fuel.  I said it wasn’t my fault.  He said he would be right there but would have to go home first to get the petrol can, then fill it up then bring it to me.

Meanwhile, I decided I may as well pay for our ticket at the pay and display machine except when I tried my money wouldn’t go in the slot because the machine was broken.  Great. This meant I would have to walk way over to the other side of the car park (it’s a big one!) in the pouring rain (I had forgotten my umbrella).

That is where my guardian angel arrived.  As I marched across the car park,  a man poked his head out of the window of his car just as he was about to leave and said “Here love, do you need a ticket?” There was well over an hour and a half on it. You bet I needed his ticket!  He made my day.  Thank you lovely man/angel!

Such hope was restored that I came up with a great idea.  We could push the car into the parking bay.  That is, Aspie Daughter pushed while I steered (she can’t drive, no way no how, it’s a coordination thing) and let me tell you, she is one strong young girl/woman.  She thought it was rather fun actually. So at least we had parked the car,  had a free parking ticket and we just made it to the Job Centre with a couple of minutes to spare.  Phew!

Hubby arrived and thought that he better not walk into the Job Centre looking rather annoyed while holding a petrol can so he waited outside until we came out.  All was forgiven, the car started and the rest of the day went as well as can be expected.  Aspie Daughter promptly went to bed when we got home, such is the way of things in our household.

I will end it there, except for one last thing, which has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with what I’ve just written.   My lovely friend Lesley over at Confab put up a delightful post recently about a spider in her greenhouse and she shared a beautiful photo of spider babies.  Do take a look. It caught my imagination and reminded me of the book/film Charlotte’s Web when all her babies hatched!

It also reminded me of a photo I took last year in our back garden of a spider wrapping up a wasp of all things….eeeeowww… in its web which I thought I would share.  Not that this is my kind of thing really but I was amazed at how the photo turned out as normally my close-ups like this are very blurry.

Spider wrapping up a wasp (c) Sherri Matthews 2012

Spider wrapping up a wasp
(c) Sherri Matthews 2012

Hope you all have a great weekend and keep ‘wrapped up’ nice and warm 🙂

Posted in Asperger's Syndrome, Family Life, Humour, Musings, Nature & Wildlife | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 33 Comments

‘The Power’ – How Has Writing Changed You?

Living as I do now in this ‘Writer’s World’ has changed my life irrevocably.  Until now, I had never really paid much attention to the way I used to write when I was  younger, how the need to furiously scribble down words would overcome me at the most unusual times and when I least expected it.  How, when this happened, I was utterly compelled to write these words down,  I had no choice in the matter.

It all seemed so natural to me but I kept it quiet.

This was something I did quite prolifically as a teenager into my early twenties and then I was immersed into the world of full-time motherhood, my joy,  and although there were times over the following twenty years or so when I felt this same urge to write, they became fewer and fewer.

Back then, my writing consisted mainly of keeping journals (although these would have huge gaps in them, sometimes years at a time never mind a day or two) and, when I lived away from my family in America, of pouring my heart out in letters written to my mum on great reams of delicate, pale-blue airmail paper.  I still have many of these letters and the letters my mum wrote back to me.

In later years, these letters turned into rambling emails, but I never thought to print them off…

In writing my posts and sharing memories from my own childhood as well as those of my children and the different experiences we have shared, I have recently been thinking even more about my early life.  My childhood seemed good to me for the first ten years of my life when my family was happy, to me at least, with my mum, dad and brother.

Then it was all ripped away.

However, this isn’t about blame or bitterness or recrimination.  Goodness knows, it was a long time ago and I am truly thankful that I have my wonderful family’s blessing to write about these things because they know that I write about them only to work out some kind of inner turmoil that raises its ugly head from deep within me from time to time and which I need to share.

By sharing these things, by laying my heart bare here, I realise that I am finding my way back to the person that I once thought was so very lost.

That proverbial rug has been pulled out from under me so many times in life that I wonder if this is why I have always felt that  I never really belonged, or that I fit in, or that I was part of the crowd.  Always on the outside looking in and wondering why I felt so different and alone.

This surprises those who know me because I love nothing better than a great party, being with family and friends and enjoying the world around me. A childlike wonderment of the simple beauty of life has never left me so that I think that perhaps a part of me never really grew up. I am still that little girl who likes to write my name in the sky with sparklers on Bonfire Night and make up silly dances given half the chance.

Yet, there is a darkness about me that lives quietly by my side, walking in my shadow, saying nothing yet whispering constantly.  It compels me, draws me, ushers me into its familiar and strangely comforting world.

It is there that I find the key to my writing. 

It is there that I am able to unlock the dam so that the torrent of words are at last set free to tumble over my walls of doubt, soaking everything in its wake yet giving rise to what has, until now, laid silent and still, buried in the silt, hidden but not forgotten.

It is by entering this dark world that I can find my way out again, back to the light, back to the goodness of life, of God, of you. 

An old friend has returned to me – the compulsion to write poetry once again.  It might be rubbish for all I know, but it is what I need to write and because of you, dear friends, reading this, for whom I am ever thankful, that I feel confident to share it.  There are rules, how-tos, how-not-tos, how to be successful, or not, as the case may be.

All I know is that sometimes, when you take everything else away, all you can do is follow your heart and let the words flow.

This is how writing has changed me.

I wrote this poem, which I called ‘The Power’, one night last week right before going to bed when I had a few things on my mind but I was certainly not thinking about my childhood when I wrote it.   That old feeling of being compelled to write wouldn’t let me go.  Besides, my husband urged me to publish it here, so you can blame him.

Thank you so much for allowing me the freedom to be the real me, the writer who now resides in this new ‘Writer’s World’ with you.

 The Power

So then, here we go.
This is not what we wanted after all.
In a moment of madness
When I loved you in a smile
Desperation killed the hour,
Stole the dream.
Ran a mile.

What was it you really wanted?
Did you mean for me to die?
Better, my dear,
That you pull the trigger
Than hang me out to dry.

Curse the growing darkness
When I awake in black of grief.
In but one moment of madness
When I believed you were my all
As you lay so still beside me,
Wrapped up in lies.
A mocking thief.

Can the second tick into
A single minute of my time
When you stole the very essence
Of the life you said was mine?

As you ripped me bare and laid me
Naked, on your cross
sacrificing the very trust,
Never pausing to count the cost.

Shred me on your altar
Of a self-deluded dream
Plunge your knife in deep and good
Cast me out into the hard, cold night
Don the executioner’s hood.
Pass the sentence.
Wield the axe.
Send me to solitary and melt the key.
Strip me of all I am
Do all you want.

Then bury me.

Yet remember this, my love,
When you dream your witch’s spell;
As you enter the abyss,
When you walk into your Hell.

Put on your shallow make-up
To paint away your face.
Enshroud your pretty body
As you burn my long embrace
In the flames of your desire,
Yet not for me, but they –
They who bow down and worship you
In all your glory-be.

Yes, remember this, my love,
In your final worship hour –
You will never see my face again
For it is I who owns your power.

For   it   is   I   who   owns   your   power.

 

(c) Sherri Matthews 2013

Posted in Blogging, Poems, The Black Dog, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 81 Comments

Bonfire Night and A Drive in the Wilds of Wiltshire

 Remember, remember!
 The fifth of November,
 The Gunpowder treason and plot;
 I know of no reason
Why the Gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot!

(English Folk Verse, c 1870)

When we lived in America, the ushering in of November brought with it a twinge of sadness for me, as I was unable to share with my children one of the most important nights of the year which I celebrated as a child growing up in England, a night steeped in centuries-long tradition: the night of November 5th, otherwise known as Guy Fawkes Night or Bonfire Night.

For those of you who might not know what this is all about, the activities which will take place this very night up and down this wonderful isle of ours are held in celebration of a failed (Catholic) gunpowder plot to blow up  (Protestant) King James I and the Houses of Parliament.

It was Guy Fawkes’ misfortune to be caught red-handed, on the night of 4th November, 1605, in the cellars below the House of Lords with a rather incriminating pile of dynamite.  This dynamite was planted directly beneath where the King was due to sit to preside over the opening of parliament the next day.

For his treasonous sins, Guy Fawkes was tortured for two days until he finally signed a confession, whereupon his sentence was to be hung, drawn and quartered.  This  meant that he was to be hung by his neck within an inch of his life, cut down while still alive, his testicles cut off and stomach ripped open, spilling his guts in front of his own eyes before being beheaded and cut into four parts, all of which would be sent to the four corners of the Kingdom and put on display as a warning, lest others should dare try the same thing.

We are a bloody lot really.

But the good news for poor Mr. Fawkes is that he managed to jump from the gallows with the rope around his neck, making sure that he was already dead and so was spared what would have been the most agonising of deaths.

This then is why, every 5th of November, we Brits burn an effigy of Guy Fawkes on top of a bonfire (when I was growing up this would be in our own back garden and built with whatever we could find to burn) while setting off fireworks.

Me helping gather leaves for the Guy (or digging, as the case may be!)  - Surrey, 1967 (c) Sherri Matthews 2013

Me helping gather leaves for the Guy (or digging, as the case may be!)
Surrey, 1967
(c) Sherri Matthews 2013

The preparations started several days beforehand. I will always remember the fun my brother and I had as we gathered up piles of autumn leaves from the ground and stuffed them into an old pair of my dad’s trousers and one of his shirts, tying up the legs and sleeves with string and finishing off with a ‘head’ made out of an old pair of tights stuffed with newspaper.

On the day itself, Dad would get things ready by putting out milk bottles from which to launch the rockets and banging nails into pieces of wood for the Catherine Wheels (which would usually fall off half-way through their spinning).

All day long the excitement would build and at last the skies would grow dark, bringing with it November’s bitter chill.  Soon enough we would be warmed through as we stood near the roaring bonfire, drinking tomato soup out of mugs and eating jacket potatoes that had been charred baked in the bonfire and all the while watching with childlike wonderment, ‘oohhing’ and ‘ahhing’ at the explosions of colour as the fireworks lit up the sky above.

These were my Bonfire Nights and I didn’t think that I would ever get to share them with my children, but life has a strange way of turning the tables on us in the most surprising of ways.

I was not to know then that my marriage would end and that I would return to the UK in  2003 with my two younger children, then fourteen and eleven.  They had to start a brand new school where they didn’t know anybody.

Soon after, thank goodness, my son was befriended by a boy and his group of friends and as Bonfire Night approached my son was very excited to tell me that he had been invited to his friend’s house for the festivities.  Not only that, but his friend’s parents, knowing that it was just the three of us (my older son was away at University) had also, very kindly,  invited my daughter and I.

The only problem was that they lived in a rural village some miles away from the town where we lived and I had no idea how to get to their house.  My son had been there to stay several times, however, and was confident that he knew the way.  I asked him to get directions from his friend anyway, just in case.

Bonfire Night arrived and we piled excitedly into the car.  I knew how to get to the village and so far so good.   Then began the fun.  I got to the village alright but drove right through it, ending up as quickly as you can say ‘Roman Candle’ in deep, dark Wiltshire countryside on an isolated, rural road.   I pulled over, stopped the car and turned on the inside light, asking my son for the directions.

What he produced was a tiny scrap of paper upon which he had drawn a road.  In the middle of the road he had also drawn a bridge and a house at one end.  That was it.

You have to also bear in mind that by then I had been living in the UK for only three months having lived (and driven) in California for the previous seventeen years.  Although I had grown up in the countryside and so had learnt to drive on narrow country roads, it had been many years since I had done this.

had also never been to this part of the world before in my life, so at this point I was totally reliant upon my son to get us to his friend’s house.  It was pitch black outside, the  moon hidden by ominous looking clouds, and my sense of direction was shot to pieces.

My dear son, telling me to calm down (don’t you love it when your kids tell you to calm down) promised to get us there.  I turned around and found our way back to the village and by  no small miracle we found ‘that bridge’. Driving over it we followed the road which became narrower and narrower and before you knew it, we were in the middle of a wood.

Driving over a cattle grid was the last straw and I threatened to turn round, convinced that we were horribly lost.  My son insisted that no, this was right and to keep going.  My patience was growing very thin, but I held on to my faith in him and we continued on, going deeper and deeper into the dark, eerie woods.  For all I knew, we were in the middle of a  scene fresh out of The Blaire Witch Project.

Wikipedia - Creative Commons Attribution - Share Alike

Wikipedia – Creative Commons Attribution – Share Alike
Credit source: Yoninah 01/05/2010

About to give up and turn back, suddenly we came to a clearing.  “This is it! Keep going!” urged my son.  The relief in his voice was not lost on me.   So I did, and there, dear reader, just beyond the clearing we saw it, a huge bonfire, burning like a beacon in the night guiding us to our destination and welcoming us to this magical retreat in the middle of the English countryside.

When we were friendless and strangers in our own ‘home’, people who didn’t know us took us in and welcomed us.  I am eternally thankful for the kindness and hospitality of these wonderful folk.

This was the beginning of our new life back in England and I couldn’t think of a better way to start it than by sitting on hay bales around a bonfire, sipping hot cocoa while watching a magnificent firework display somewhere in the middle of a field in the wilds of Wiltshire.  I  got to share a precious tradition from my childhood with my own children after all.

Oh, and if you were wondering? My son and the boy who befriended him eleven years ago?  They are best friends to this very day.

Remember, remember, the 5th of November… Happy Bonfire Night 🙂

Posted in Childhood Memories, Family Traditions, Friendship, Mothers & Sons | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 88 Comments

ANNOUNCING A GIVEAWAY

Lovely Donna, a published novelist, found my blog through LinkedIn when I wrote my poem about my daughter in August. She has been so supportive of my writing and now I want to support her by letting you all know about her exciting book giveaway!

donnajeanmcdunn's avatarDonna Jean McDunn

I met Lorraine Reguly on LinkedIn and discovered her blog. I enjoyed her writing so much I decided to sign up to follow her. Lorraine writes about everything, from very serious and personal life subjects, to topics on writing, social media, blogging and the occasional review and interview.

On one of her posts, (You can find it here) she offered to let anyone include a link of their blog or website in the comments and to be sure to leave a little information about themselves. She encouraged other bloggers to visit these sites. So of course I added my blog and Facebook author page and I mentioned my debut novel, “Nightmares” was published May 8, 2013 by MuseItUp Publishing.

Soon after posting my information on her blog, she contacted me and offered to post a review of my new e-book Nightmares on Goodreads if I sent…

View original post 702 more words

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A Happy Halloween for my Black Cat Eddie

Halloween Cookies (c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Halloween Cookies made by my daughter
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Halloween is upon us at last!

Better get that pumpkin carved, the treats ready to hand out to all those trick-or-treaters and decorate the house with paper bats, dangling skeletons and put on the spooky music!

Most importantly, if you own a black cat, make sure to keep it inside!

Now, there has been a lot said about black cats and Halloween.  When my children were little, they picked up somewhere along the line, as children do, that there are some nasty people out there who like to do horrible things to black cats around Halloween time.  They used to tell me most seriously to make absolutely sure that we keep our cats, especially our black cats, inside at all times to keep them extra-safe during this time of year.

We did this anyway, but they were afraid that the cats might shoot out when we opened the front door to the trick-or-treaters.

Those of you who read this blog regularly already know about our lovely black moggie Eddie. Others have done a much better job than I could do of writing about the myths and superstitions that swirl around these beautiful black cats, so if you would like to read more about this subject, I highly recommend you visit Beverly’s post over at MoggiePurrs and/or Robin’s over at Playful Kitty

As for Eddie, I will say this:  He really loves getting into the ‘spirit’ of things – pardon the pun – by helping out with the carving of the Jack O Lantern.

Eddie helping carve the pumpkin - 2006 (c) Sherri Matthews 2013

Eddie helping carve the pumpkin – 2006
(c) Sherri Matthews 2013

Afterwards, when he is tired, he likes to lounge on top of the radiator.  After all, it is very hard work preparing for Halloween.

What a Life - Eddie enjoying a well deserved nap (c) Sherri Matthews 2013

What a Life – Eddie enjoying a well deserved nap
(c) Sherri Matthews 2013

The only thing spooky about my black cat is the way he mysteriously appears by my side, like a ghost in the night, whenever I open a tin of tuna. 

One minute he is not there, the next, there he is.  Truly magical.

All Ready for the party. Halloween 2007 (c) Sherri Matthews 2013

All Ready for the party.
Halloween 2007
(c) Sherri Matthews 2013

Happy Halloween!

Posted in CATalogue, Childhood Memories, Family Traditions | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 46 Comments

The Cry of the Vixen Fox and a Homemade Halloween

Last week, Hubby and I took Aspie Daughter to the local joke shop to visit the Halloween display there.  It is gruesome, bloody and foul and my daughter loves it.  She bought a few wonderful items such as a skeletal, headless creature to hang from her ceiling and mist-making equipment.  Don’t ask,

She loves Halloween and really misses being in America at this time of year.  Growing up in California, she, like her brothers, had a very different Halloween experience than that of my childhood.

We just didn’t ‘do’ Halloween in 1970s Britain. But in my family’s case, we didn’t need to: our 14th century, oak-beamed and freezing cold farmhouse in the English Suffolk countryside was in the middle of nowhere and it was spooky enough at the best of times.

I can remember lying in bed at night, alone in my huge room with the moon beaming its ghostly light through the leaded light windows and being terrified of a hellish wailing echoing out from the surrounding woodland.  Convinced in my childish imaginings that it was a ghost screaming out from the wilds of the dark woods in the dead of night,  I was petrified.

I later learned that it was the call of a vixen fox.  I love foxes but that’s not the point.  Listen to this and you will understand why I was so spooked:

There are only three things that I remember which were remotely ‘Halloweenish’ from my younger days:

  1. One Halloween night, we carved out swedes, put tealights in them and dared ourselves to walk around our old house, surrounded as it was by nothing but open fields and a dark wood beyond; one scream of that ghost fox and I was back inside quicker than you could say ‘boo’.
  2. As a Girl Guide I once did apple bobbing at a Halloween party. Our Brown Owl dressed up as a witch, a role she seemed to relish rather too enthusiastically for my liking. I left Girl Guides shortly afterwards.
  3. I was obsessed with an audio (cassette tape) book I owned called ‘Gobbolino The Witch’s Cat‘ which told the story put to music. I used to recite it word perfectly and dance around to it for hours.  I admit, was a very strange child…
Gobbolino The Witch's Cat with Audio

Gobbolino The Witch’s Cat with Audio

My first real experience of Halloween was as a 19-year-old when I first visited Los Angeles in 1979 and watched the classic Michael MyersHalloween‘ film for the first time.   Now I loved all the Hammer House of Horror films with Vincent Price, having grown up with these classics, but I had never seen anything like this, and never mind the slasher bits.

Halloween

Halloween

No. It was Jamie Lee Curtis carving the pumpkin with the young children she was babysitting that really caught my attention.  Glued to the screen, I watched fascinated as dark descended and kids streamed out of their homes, all dressed up in their Halloween costumes running through their neighborhood from door to door ‘Trick or Treating‘.

My American friends were incredulous and couldn’t get over the fact that I had no idea what ‘Trick or Treating’ was.

“What, you’ve never heard of Trick or Treating?  Don’t they do it in England?”

“Er, no,……”

When my little boy was just four years old, he experienced his first Halloween, American style.  Waiting in line to pay for our groceries, the kindly checkout lady looked down at my son standing next to me and asked the dreaded question:

“And what are you going to be for Halloween?”

We hadn’t long been in America and I thought my son too young to even give it a thought.  However, he must have had other ideas because, without missing a beat he replied,

“An imp!  I am going to be an imp!”

Maybe she didn’t understand him becasue of his English accent but she asked,  ‘What’s an imp?’  So I ended up trying to explain that it was like a goblin, but smaller, and very mischievous. I think.  He must have got the idea from a story I had read to him.  Thankfully he forgot about the imp idea.

That Halloween we stayed in, locked the door, turned off the outside light, hunkering down against the cold, dark night.  It was just the two of us, his father worked the graveyard shift (pardon the pun) and I didn’t fancy opening the door to complete strangers in a strange land where we had lived for only three months.

I had heard rumours of the ‘trick’ part of ‘trick or treating’ and I hoped we wouldn’t wake up to an egg-pelted house.  Nothing happened as it turned out but things changed after that first Halloween.

You know the old saying, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em?  Well, that would be us.  By the following year my son had started Kindergarten and soon enough, Halloween rolled around once again.  One afternoon my son came running to me excitedly after school with a letter from the teacher announcing an upcoming Halloween parade.  Of course, this meant he needed a costume.

It soon became clear to me that Halloween is the one time of year that American children get to dress up (‘fancy dress’ as we Brits call it) and it doesn’t have to be scary things like witches and vampires.  As it turned out, my son already knew who he wanted to be: he wanted to be Batman. Fair enough.

Ready-made costumes seemed expensive to me, so I did the next best thing and made him one.  Yes, you read that right:  I made my son a Batman costume. Out of felt.  It took me hours, but he loved it.

My son in his Batman  - notice the hat, belt and gloves all made out of felt!  The cape is polyester and his prized Batman tshirt courtesy of Grandma & Grandpa and his own blue sweatpants completed his get-up! (c) Sherri Matthews 2013

My son in his Batman costume, 1988 – notice the mask, belt , gloves and ‘boots’ are all made out of felt! The cape is polyester and his prized Batman t-shirt, courtesy of Grandma & Grandpa, together with his blue sweatpants completed his get-up!
(c) Sherri Matthews 2013

Close up of the mask - note my son's expression! This was a serious business, after all!! (c) Sherri Matthews 2013

Close up of the mask – serious business, after all!!
(c) Sherri Matthews 2013

That was all it took.  After that, it was the same thing every Halloween scrabbling up some kind of outfit from home, adding a few shop-bought accessories and of course, it was always last minute.  But this was part of the fun.  I’m not sure who enjoyed it more, me or the kids.

One Halloween,  same son entered a costume competition at his school wearing a shredded pair of old black sweatpants and an old white shirt of mine which we had fun slashing with a pair of scissors and donning with fake blood here and there.

All I bought was a plastic cutlass sword for 99 cents.  I dotted a fake beard on his chin with my black eyeliner pencil and several ‘ooh arrr me hearties’ later, he was a pirate.  When I dropped him off at school, my heart sunk slightly when I saw the other kids emerging dressed up in their sophisticated, shop-bought costumes.  I didn’t expect him to win but the fun we had together more than made up for that.

But we were both in for a wonderful surprise. As it turned out, it was indeed my son who won the day.

Mummy & Terminator 1992 (c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Mummy & Terminator 1992
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Another year, I made a mummy outfit for my eldest son (thanks to an old sheet) while his then four-year old brother wanted to be the Terminator (his hero).

His older brother’s denim jacket, a pair of sunglasses and a water pistol later, he made an excellent job of running wild, stopping only to aim his water pistol at us shouting,  ‘Hasta La Vista Baby’!

Over and over again.

I admit, this may not have been one of my best idea but the boys had fun and it made for a great photo opportunity.  For this mum anyway.

As for my daughter, I thought she would just love to be a princess or a fairy or even an angel, but while she did humour me when she had no choice was little, she soon enough put her foot down.

Three kids together Halloween 1994 - An Alien, G I Joe and a Sweet Little Pink Fairy!!  All I had to buy were the fairy wing, a plastic wand and face make-up! (c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Three kids together Halloween 1994 – An Alien, G I Joe and a Sweet Little Pink Fairy!! All I had to buy were the fairy wings and tiara, a plastic wand and face make-up! The rest we already had, strangely…
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Not one for dresses after the age of eight, and being a tomboy at that (this also happens to be a common trait of Aspie females but of course we didn’t know it then, and anyway, I was a tomboy and what’s not to love about being one?), she decided she wanted to be a character from a ‘Zelda‘ video game called ‘Link’.

Her brother’s old school t-shirt turned inside out, worn over thick tights with a hat and sword acquired during one of our visits to an English castle while back ‘home’, and she was sorted. Unfortunately, most people thought she was Robin Hood which made her a bit cross, but I can see why.

Daughter as Link, not Robin Hood! 1998 (c) Sherri Matthews 2013

Daughter as Link, not Robin Hood! 1998
(c) Sherri Matthews 2013

I adopted Halloween as an American tradition to pass on to my childrenSo many fun-filled memories of our times together, trick or treating with friends and handing out candy to neighbourhood children. 

What frights we had when walking up a neighbour’s garden path only to jump out of our skins as deep groans emanated from a moving gravestone; what silliness singing along to the classic sounds of ‘Monster Mash’ belting out from the house down the road. Nothing like it for spooky family fun, and I will treasure these memories for ever.

Yet, yet…

I still get shivers down my spine when I remember those nights long ago, huddled in my bed ever tormented as an eerie wind carried ghostly shrieks past my window, deep into the black, October night.

Happy Halloween!!

Posted in Asperger's Syndrome, Childhood Memories, My California, Suffolk Tales | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 53 Comments

This Storm Will Bring You Down but it Will Not Break You

The storm arrived last night as was forecast.

It did its best to wreak havoc with its howling winds and pounding rain.  By morning the damage was done but not as bad as was first feared for us in our corner of Somerset, although it managed to bring down my rose bush at the front of our house.

Storm Rose October 2013 (c) Sherri Matthews October 2013

Storm Rose Bush October 2013
(c) Sherri Matthews 2013

All is not lost. This is not the first time my rose bush has come down in such a way and it probably won’t be the last. It has fallen down but it is not broken and it can be fixed.

Summer Roses - After The Storm July 2012  (c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2012

Summer Roses – After The Storm July 2012
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2012

My lovely boy has had his heart broken. 

The ripple effect of his breakup with his girlfriend of several years (she 25 he 25 next month) has caused major upheaval and he and his wellbeing have been my priority these past few weeks.  He very graciously permitted me to share this here with you, my dear readers.

This is not about airing the family’s dirty laundry or turning a sad, sad situation into some kind of Jerry Springer moment.  I have had to keep my counsel and not wade in, as is a mother’s job. This is me sharing my heavy heart knowing that I can write here about such things as a way to shine some hope into my son’s despair.

I, we, as a family, have provided my son sanctuary. He is comforted, yet he is restless.  He heals, so tenderly, yet he is deeply wounded.  He laughs, briefly, in those small, unguarded moments yet I know that he still cries when he is alone with his grief.

My son wears his heart on his sleeve and sometimes this means that he pays the price.  He pays the price for his loving kindness and his honesty and his unconditional love.  When this is thrown back into his handsome face, the light in his beautiful brown eyes is dimmed and lies hidden behind a wall of black incomprehension.  The price is the cost of his pain.

Now his path is littered with the debris of the storm that raged all about him in the blackness of his long, lonely night.

Storm debris on the path (c) Sherri Matthews 2013

Storm debris on the path
(c) Sherri Matthews 2013

The path before him is blocked and he doesn’t know which way to turn.

Blocked path (c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Blocked path
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

The way forward may seem impossible at this moment.  The storm blows through yet its damage has been done.  What once seemed like a stronghold, a secure protection, has come down and weakened his defences.  What he thought was forever he now knows was merely a fleeting dream.

Broken fence (c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Broken fence
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Yet all is not lost.  This can all be fixed, put right, restored.  stronger than it ever was before.  None of this is insurmountable and I remind my son of this:

What matters is not that you are brought down but that you get back up again.  Always, you must get back up.

As you surely will. You are down, but you are not broken and you will be fixed. You will find your way even as your storm continues to rage inside your beating heart and torments your confused mind.  Your thoughts are clouded now but the winds of change are blowing away the debris, the dross, the fallout and your path will clear away before you so that you will walk free on that distant day.

Walk to Ranworth Church,Norfolk Broads (c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Walk to Ranworth Church,Norfolk Broads
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

The philosopher Kierkegaard once said:

“The greatest loss, that of oneself, may pass unnoticed.”

Although you feel lost in this moment oh lovely son of mine, the way forward will soon enough reveal itself to you and once again, you surely will find your way home.

DSC07211

Open field, South Walsham
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

“For I know the plans I have for you”, says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”  Jeremiah 29:11

Posted in Family Life, Garden Snippets, Mothers & Sons, Nature & Wildlife, Photos | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 49 Comments

You Guys are the Best!

My dear friends,

Just quickly touching base to say I have read all your comments and my goodness, I’m thinking what on earth have I done to deserve such wonderful friends?  Must have done something right for once, ha!  🙂

Thank you very much for all your help with the WordPress Ad query – now I understand! – and your thoughts on that ghostly orb too!  Very interesting!

More than anything though, I can’t thank you all enough for your amazing support.  It’s so great to know that you are all ‘there’ (never had my doubts) and now I’m letting you know that I’m still here too 🙂

My main reason for putting up my post yesterday was that I didn’t want you to think I was ignoring you by not commenting on your posts!  I will try to catch up a little today (and replying to your comments individually) but those I don’t get to today I will tomorrow hopefully.

Your concern for me and my family means so much but I don’t want you to worry.  Things are alright and getting sorted out (more on that later).  I haven’t been able to get to my laptop that much with so much else going on but within the next few days I should be back to normal, so will dip in and out during this time as much as I can.   Until then, I have only this left to say:

You guys really are the best!!!

Love Sherri x

Posted in Blogging, Current Affairs | Tagged , , , | 15 Comments

Dear Friends…and Help with WordPress Ads

Dear Friends,

I don’t mean to sound like a broken record singing the same old song about my plans going awry but that old record is still going round and around and around and it ain’t sounding pretty…

Pressing family matters are preventing me from giving as much time to my blog as I would like with getting my posts out and  I also just wanted to let you all know that I may not be able to keep up with visiting your blogs or replying to comments as quickly as I would like to over the next several days.

I will do my very best though 🙂

Meanwhile, I’ve noticed that over the last few days WordPress Ads have been appearing at the end of my posts.  I haven’t got the time to look into it to see what it’s all about and why I’m suddently getting these, so if any of you are experiencing the same thing I would be extremely grateful if you could let me know what you did to get rid of them (assuming you wanted to, of course!)

Finally, as a bit of fun, I leave you with this photo, taken from Monday’s post, A Storm, Stourhead and a Faraday Cage.

Take a closer look at it, especially on the left hand side.  What do you think?  Raindrop on my camera lens or a ghostly orb perhaps?

Stone Cross, St Peter's Church Stourhead (c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Stone Cross, St Peter’s Church Stourhead
(c) copyright Sherri Matthews 2013

Well, it is almost Halloween…

I’ll miss you but I’ll catch up with you all as soon as I possibly can.

Love Sherri x

Posted in Blogging, Current Affairs | Tagged , , , , , , | 53 Comments